Heading to the shelter today

Ok, well, I have made up my mind and decided that I'm going to head over to the shelter today with the kids.

It's a decision that I don't want to make. I hate the fact that I am leaving but I know that I have to do what is best for myself and the kids. It's not wrong to do that.

Still, I feel like it is. It's breaking my heart to make this choice.

I have to be strong though. My kids are struggling as well.

I keep reminding myself that he had the income. He was the one working when I lost my job. Nobody is perfect but you don't leave your partner to struggle when you can do something about it.

Do I hate him? Not at all. I just think that we are two people who have tried (for over 7 years) to make a viable relationship out of what we have. It has not worked. No matter how hard we tried.

Is that anyone's fault? I don't think so. I just feel like it's not meant to be.

I have to be strong over the next few weeks. It's going to be hard to get life back on track.

This blog is the only place I can go (besides my journal) to vent how I really feel. Nobody knows what's going on in my life. I don't want anybody to know. I just wish I had one friend or family member that I could pick up the phone and call. There just isn't anyone to reach out to.

I don't want my life to be that way. I want friends. I want people that I can talk to.

The kids are going to struggle but leaving a bad relationship is better than staying and trying to make it work. Especially when your partner doesn't want to go to any type of therapy.

I feel like such a wreck.

Stay strong. Keep moving forward. Don't give up. You deserve happiness as much as anyone else does.