Well, I did it.

I did end up leaving and taking the kids to the shelter.

As usual, I chickened out and came back home.

I can't understand why I can't get myself together and put a stop to this.

I realized he has access to all of my email accounts. He also checks the calls and texts on my phone.

Today I changed the passwords to everything that he can access. This is getting to be insane!

On a happy note, he has been Mr. Perfect for the last week. I hate when he acts that way. It hurts twice as bad when he goes back to being Mr. A**hole.

The crazy thing is - it's all mine!

The lease on the place we live, all the utilities, the car - it's all in my name.

I just can't seem to realize that I deserve to be treated like a person instead of a piece of property.

I don't have to do this anymore, though. I really don't. I deserve to be treated better. I am worth more than this.

The craziest part is that I feel responsible for him. My biggest concern? How will he take care of himself? Who is going to make sure he gets to work?

GAHHHH. Not my problem. Seriously. It isn't but I can't keep myself from feeling this way. I don't know why that is.